Last night I had a dream about an alligator.
At the beginning of the dream, I was at one of my jobs, where I am the pianist.
The building was shaped differently.
It was more like a long hall than the big box that it normally was.
It was filled to the brim with people sitting on benches and milling around. It was bright and noisy, and everyone was talking.
I was in a sleeveless shirt and my light blue with white-fluffy-cloud, fuzzy pajama pants.
“I would never show up like that, to work.” I was thinking.
“It’s okay, I left the clothes I needed here.” I thought.
“They are here, somewhere.” I began walking around searching diligently for the clothes I had left and assuring people, “Yeah, I am aware, I am looking for the clothes I left here, it’s okay, I will find them.”
Suddenly, it was too late. I found myself sitting at the piano and it was time to play the music and everyone was looking at me. I was still in my pajamas….
SNAP, the scene changed.
I was in a cavernous space with water, dark water deep enough to be concerning.
There was a slight rise of dirt that I was standing on, and it rolled away toward a hole that I could see daylight through.
I could run down the shallow area to that hole.
We were under something, like a large warehouse-type space that might be used to store big boats or something. But now it was grown over and rotting and full of dirt and life, like a cave with an alligator (or more).
It felt humid and smelled like a natural swamp, but there was a higher waft of cool air blowing in, and there was a drip, drip somewhere.
I could see other light from above hitting the water below, so I knew there was more than one way out.
The water the gator was in was deep enough water for him to be fully submerged but for the top of his head and his eyes. I could see those looking right at me.
He was swimming just a moment ago. I knew because I could see ripples on the still, water expanding out from that brief past. This told me that the water was deep enough for him to do that tail-thrusting thing they so love to do, as they lurch forward at you.
Right in front of him is the worst place to be.
The water led off to the right somewhere, in deep pools.
I was not going in that direction.
I also remember thinking “But how did I GET IN here? Because that is the way out, the same way I came in.”
And for a second or two, I looked harder for the path I had taken, it was ridiculous that I could not leave the same way I had come.
That gave me a sense that I was in a dream. “What, did I just pop into existence here?”
Also, when I stopped to think about it, I felt like I stretched the time for myself in the dream to give myself a minute to respond.
“There must be a better way” but too much time had passed. It was “go time.”
Suddenly some chicken appeared in my hands.
Yeah, how convenient is that?
I happened to have handfuls of chicken.
My reactions were slow like I was using them to set the speed of the dream, like I was suppressing the natural flow of forward time. It was like I was the metronome and the speed at which I noted things and did things set the tempo. It was very subtle, I still had to hurry. I couldn’t settle in at a nice 60 bpm, we were at 100 bpm.
I had a more removed view of what was going on. I was in the dream but I was also observing it.
I could see a way out, I could see a hole that led to freedom and I could see that if I wanted to run toward it, I could.
But the hole in the wall was framed out by wood with nails sticking out of it and it did not look like I could fit through there.
I wasn’t sure from that angle.
The alligator was focused on me.
It wasn’t huge though.
It was only about 5 feet nose to tip. That’s big enough.
Its head was shaped strangely, it almost looked dark, it was red and blue and “smoother on the sides than a normal alligator,” I thought.
But it was scary and it was looking at me.
“Where did that piano in pajamas situation go?
That was a much better problem to have.”
I throw some chicken, to send him farther away.
I send it with a good splash.
It is “go time.” We are making noise now. We are taking action. There is water splashing.
If there are other gators around, they will hear that too, and come to check it out.
He goes for it, good little doggie.
I throw a couple more….
I dive for the hole in the wall and become stuck right at the shoulders.
I do a push-up with all my might to make the nails pop out to break the wood away.
It works.
Then, I had to slide quietly into the water in front of that hole I had just gotten through and travel about four feet in that questionable water, which was also dark and deep, until I could reach the dock that was there.
I could tell that I would have to do some gymnastic grasping to get onto the dock.
I was dedicated, expecting an attack from behind or below at any moment, but unflinching.
I made it through.
I don’t remember getting onto the dock.
I remember looking at that jutting-out piece of the dock with a bit of red and orange and white cloth hanging off it, and I remember my first grab. Then I was standing on the dock.
I woke up.
Writing about it now, I realize that I was more aware in that dream than I have been for a long time.
I have been interested in learning how to become aware that I am dreaming as I did as a kid. I announced that to myself, recently. I said that I would be interested in doing that again. I forgot that I had asked, but when I asked, I truly meant it. I forgot that I had promised myself to say “I am aware” in the dream when it happens. If I hadn’t written this, I would not have remembered setting that goal.
I had a lot of nightmares as a kid, and I got sick of it. So, one day I just decided, “Enough.”
“I am going to change my dreams.” And whammo, I did.
I don’t know what happened or when that stopped.
This was my first glimpse at that in a long time, the door is open.
In this dream, I was aware that the dream was meant to stress me out. I felt like I was meant to feel vulnerable during the piano incident, and then stressed during the alligator incident.
In the piano part of the dream, I walk around telling everyone, “It’s okay, it’s okay. I am aware, I have some pants here somewhere. Just give me a minute and I will find them.”
I half knew what was going on.
Everything was taking more time too, almost like I was not acquiescing like a good little “unknowing dreamer” should, and becoming stressed out fast enough.
I felt like I was dragging things out on purpose.
I felt like if I had not been snapped suddenly to the next scene, I would have become fully aware that I was dreaming.
I manifested chicken, the strength the focus, and the perseverance I needed.
Is it possible that I was aware in my dream last night?
I think I was.
THAT is progress.
Maybe when I was saying “I am aware,” that was me practicing saying “I am aware” in my dream.
Maybe I was not just talking about my pajama pants. (wink)
Hey dream, I am aware!
These are the best I could quickly muster. None of them do my vision justice, however, here is the “Walking By Hoping He Won’t Notice” version.
Here is the prompt for the Bing Image Creator Image used above:
Prompt:
oil painting, middle-aged woman in light blue full-length fuzzy pajama pants with white fluffy clouds on them. white shirt. she is scared standing in shallow water surrounded by black water, She is looking to the side. in a cave with a tiny light, mostly dark. Alligator is submerged four feet in front of her. All you can see is its head and eyes. It is watching her. It is red and dark blue, in water. she is about to run away. Inside cave with no opening, dripping water
It kept screwing up the opening surrounded by wood and nails. So the prompt doesn’t include that.
This is the,“Things Could Have Been Weirder” version:
And the book cover, concept art version:
Announcements:
#1 I have a few AI image posts coming out. Maybe three or four. I have drafts open this week hoping to finish them all up. I will hit go on them all at the same time. You will be barraged with 3 or four “How To Prompt Ai Posts.” People who want to know how to do stuff with Bing Image Creator are welcome to take my words and rearrange them at will for their purposes.
If you are not interested in Ai, just hit delete, friends.
I just want to share the “Ka naw ledge” with people who are using it so they can steal my words and use them how they want.
If you hate AI, look away. I don’t want you to see me this way.
If you like dirt, I am secretly happy when I get dirt in my mouth, if that makes you feel any better.
If you use Ai prompted images, then have at it. Use anything you want and feel free to ask me questions.
Also, as you can see here, sometimes you JUST CANT get what you are trying to get. But you can settle for something interesting and nice in its place.
Announcement #2
and both encouraged me to turn my poem called “My Beautiful Children” into a song.My friend, who is the choir director, said he would sing it for me, so I am writing it in his range and changing the ending from “mothers dream” to “parents Dream”.
That will take a while because I have to write it in musical notation, I don’t have software. He needs to be able to read it. It’s too complex to convey without written notation. We will have to have time to look at it together and then I will have someone record it when he sings it for the fellowship. Or we can record it before choir practice. But we won’t have much time, so we will go with whatever we capture fast enough.
Also, I am not quite done working out the details yet. I am still undecided on the final sound I am looking for. So that will take a month or two, but it’s on the way. Thank you for the encouragement!
Announcement #3 …..And slowly, slowly I am relearning Illustrator and working on an original digital artwork there.
I love being here. It’s a fun way to set goals for the things that make you happy. Thank you for reading about my dream. Let me know if you know anything about what I have said. I haven’t even looked up anything to do with alligator dreams yet.
PEACE!
that's quite the dream, Lady A, and remarkable that you're able to recall all the details . . . i'm envious; don't seem to have that ability . . . what a great thought Jac had to turn your love of children poem into a song! . . . glad this caught my eye in the feed and glad i took a detour to read.
Interesting. There was a dragon in my dream last night, 60-80 ft long. I thought it was dead. I walked on it's back. I said to somebody, I wonder what does dragon taste like? Somebody said, died three days ago. Too bad, I said. Then after I stepped off it's back, it lifted it's head and looked at me. Sorry I was going to eat you. It walked away.